Thursday Thirteen #11: 13 Jumps of Blog-Hopping

Not that I need to add this many new blogs to my reading schedule, but these are the ones I found when I started with a fellow Stainless Steel Droppings fan. I've included their description (when applicable) for ease of perusal. My descriptions are italicized. It really was a coincidence that I ended with another Chris.

1. Chris A guy from New Orleans examines all things Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Magical, Musical, Visual, and Appealing along with interesting tidbits from everyday life. 2. Jean My business card lists me as: Mom (full-time); Data Analyst, Writer, Editor (part-time); Fiber Artist (spare time). I stepped off the full-time career path years ago and have no burning desire to get back on. 3. Debi Nothing of importance (my everyday blog). Sometimes it might be important to me, I suppose... but even that's not guaranteed. 4. Megan I'm a twenty-something college grad with a BA in Political Science and a lot of time on my hands. I like to read almost as much as I like to collect books, and like to write when the mood strikes me. My aspirations for this blog include reviewing or at least commenting on every book I read, writing a little about that pesky real life that keeps sneaking up on me, and doing some musing about books in general. 5. cj I'm a 49 year old, single, female who is a writer by desire and a public safety officer because I need to pay my bills. It makes the people I owe money to happy when I do. 6. Sarah A book reviewer and artist, I originally "met" her through BookCrossing. 7. Michelle I’m 38 years old, I’ve been married for 9 years to my hubby and we have been together for 12 years. We have a 4-year-old little girl. It’s hard to keep up with a four year old. I’m a city girl born and raised, that moved out to the country about 10 years ago and I’m loving every minute of it. I’m driven buy my passions for food, wine, art, music and great conversations with intelligent and honest people that enrich my life. 8. Journeywoman Motherhood has been a journey, not a destination. 9. Cecily The rantings of a foul-mouthed liberal, feminist, fat, recovering alcoholic, mother, wife, woman, and writer. 10. Dawn writing, mothering, and writing about mothering 11. Jody My name really is Jody, but everyone else has a pseudonym. My spouse is a professor, my children are in grade school, and I'm writing a dissertation in U.S. history. 12. Linda A mom of twins, and a bonus girl. 13. Chris From North Carolina, with the following interests: Dressing my children in clothing that doesn't match, spouting off about politics, silently judging you for driving a Suburban, obsessively cleaning my house.

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Monday's Musings

Do you know of any young boys who do not like to read? Why do you think boys so often don't? What can we do to encourage them to read more?

My kids (and the few children in our peer group) are technically too young to be concerned about this issue--the oldest is a girl who will be 5 in May--so I don't have any current personal knowledge of reluctant readers. My son (who just turned 3) is well on his way to making the letter-sound-word connection. I can only answer this from 2 perspectives: evolutionary and former teacher/librarian.

For starters, reading is not a natural activity. Written language is a comparatively new construct when one takes a long view of human development. Knowing this, I can readily see how individuals (regardless of gender) might not be able to achieve the fluency necessary to enjoy the process itself, or appreciate the information available through books. In my opinion, many of the same kids who "do not enjoy reading" seem to do just fine when the same material is presented via the internet. Said opinion is prejudiced by my observation of DH, and confirmed by commenters all over the web., so YMMV.

For those personality types for whom "action" is the preferred mode of being, reading is mostly likely too passive to be considered a legitimate activity. For those whose nervous systems aren't wired for prolonged periods of concentration, reading can be painful and torturous. And, for those who believe they don't need what books have to offer (true for both fiction and nonfiction), reading is a waste of their time.

Since there are various sorts of reluctant readers (those by choice and those not), there is no one solution. In general, though, I'd find reading material geared to their interests, I'd encourage them to advance their gross-motor skills through reading, and I'd find good role models (people they already respect, or ones they would be likely to) who could be a direct or indirect influence. For ann older (10+) child, I'd start having conversations about livelihood, whether that would necessitate a college degree, and talk about the literacy needs of a functional citizen (filling out job applications, reading operating manuals, understanding what issues one votes on, etc.). [ok, maybe that last one is asking a bit much... *wink*]

A picture of the boy who calls me "Momma"

And a few "momma" books from my bookshelf:
[I've read these, and really need to review them]
An Innocent, A Broad (Ann Leary)
Mothers: A Celebration (Alexandra Stoddard)
My Mother Worked and I Turned Out Okay (Katherine Wyse Goldman)
All Mothers Work (Cindy Ramming)
Life Laughs (Jenny McCarthy)

[I need to read these]
The Mother Load (Caryl Christensen, Marilyn Kentz)
Domestic Affairs (Joyce Maynard)
Life's Work (Lisa Belkin)

Babyproofing Your Marriage, by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill, and Julia Stone

I made the mistake of reading a few other reviews (and the resulting "I agree with you" commentary) before I cracked the spine on this book. Even though I had the negative impressions of the reviewers hoping to influence my own, I managed to find Babyproofing only marginally helpful for my own reasons.

Cockrell, O'Neill, and Stone come from and speak to a limited audience, which makes sense for book sales, but not as much for giving the self-help genre timeless and universal material. I realize that I'm crafting a fairly tall order for a book that isn't required to be more than the flavor of the month. Their suggestions may work just fine for those who are otherwise psychologically healthy; in my opinion, the healthy ones don't need this book, and parents who are dealing with some dysfunction will be frustrated with the authors' attitudes.

The authors state that "the sex issue" was the main prompt for their efforts to write this book. Amongst other suggestions, they propose using "the 5-minute fix" to satisfy one's husband's needs for the oh-so-small sacrifice of "mild feelings of compromising yourself." And that is where they lost me. I personally find that particular act to be demeaning on a high order. I don't like the idea of being a step up from what my husband can do for himself. I get no pleasure in pretending to be a porn actress. The times I have complied, I have never reaped any of the benefits the authors claim to exist on their little chart. While this "fix" may work for people who have come through life without having suffered/survived abuse via sex, it is at worst a reliving of a painful past and at best an insult to those of us who didn't escape what can be rightly called an epidemic.

As I was reading Babyproofing Your Marriage, I'd mention certain ideas to my husband. He scorned most of them, and after several attempts to communicate, I had to give up in order to keep the peace. Would this book have been more helpful if read before our son had been born? I find it hard to believe so.

The authors did have some good things to say about relationships with the new grandparents (although, thank goodness, very little of it has applied to our situation), having another child, and hope for the future. I especially appreciated that the authors (finally) included the best news I've heard in a long time: two-thirds of unhappy marriages right themselves within 5 years. If we (myself and my husband) can analogize this early childhood experience with a particularly challenging degree program, I think it will help us get through our rough patch.